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Let’s Get Sh!tfaced, Part Deux Deux
There’s no gentle way to say this–I can smell the difference between my son and daughter’s fecal matter. I could describe their distinct aromas for you in gag-reflex-inducing detail, but have chosen...
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Won’t Stop Believin’
“Dammit,” I thought aloud, grimacing at my phone. My wife turned her head. “What?” “I’m 30 on the East Coast. The Facebook ‘Happy Birthdays’ just started.” She smiled, putting a comforting hand on my...
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Toddler Parkour
The Pseudonymous Family is moving to a new house this week. Although our current residence has served us well, it leaves little space for my wife and me to chase our little Ewoks around and has an air...
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